mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
