if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
