Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
