Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
