who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
