so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You were trust falling into bushes
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
