And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
