and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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