***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
