My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
