considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize