why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
