My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
