so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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