Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize