I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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