Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
