I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize