all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
