I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize