OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
