he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
