if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
