I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
