actually, I'm a sock model
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
