I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
