Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize