been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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