toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
