Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
