I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
