you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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