Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize