Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize