Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
