The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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