Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
