sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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