When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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