Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
