Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize