I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just want to make out with him forever
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
