i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize