i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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