Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
