i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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