Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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