At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
