oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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