the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
