I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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