My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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