the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
