i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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