I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
