im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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