The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
